And They Were Not Ashamed...

And They Were Not Ashamed - a book review??

I’ve wanted to write a post about this book for quite some time, but since I don’t exactly like airing my dirty laundry out in public I postponed it.

I mean, really! What are you supposed to say when someone asks, “How's your marriage?”

We all just love to answer, “Well, actually it totally sucks. Thanks for asking.” (with a big smile, of course!).

So, this actually happened a while ago and my friend told me about a fantastic book that could help just about any marriage. I know what you’re thinking… sure a book that can keep us happily ever after. Sadly, so many marriage problems are related to intimacy… even when they really aren’t.

This book gives us insight into the human heart and mind (with some special focus on women). It contains exercises and information to help us improve our emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy.

You could look at this as three books in one: a marriage book, a sex book and a parenting book. When you think about it, every aspect of our family relationships is affected by intimacy.

As far as marriages go, we can all benefit from learning to identify and overcome our fears and misconceptions about sexual intimacy. Until I read this book I didn’t realize that I had my own set of misconceptions that were affecting our marriage (like, most men don't mind being awakened at 1 am by a naked woman! or that a hug after work is much better than a "hey honey" yelled from the kitchen sink). This book greatly enriched my relationship with my husband both physically and emotionally.

Recently, my seven year old daughter cried to me saying that I don’t snuggle her enough. I was so focused on intimacy in my marriage that I forgot about intimacy in my parenting. Our children need to learn from us that good healthy intimacy provides mental and physical fulfillment.

My husband actually read this book- which says a lot because he has finished maybe one book in his whole life!

FYI: it is on my Amazon widget to the side if you want to read more about it. Great way to spend $12 (or find it at the library).

important post-script - I just need to clarify to those questioning... Jesse and I have a fantastic relationship, but like all valuable relationships it takes effort, patience, understanding and great books to make it better!

We can do it!

So now that the dust has settled on my last post... and all the fires have been put out... I want to propose a toast "to all those who are trying so hard to make a better future for their children"!

I love homeschooling. Wait! Did I say "love"? Okay, so I guess I do "love" homeschooling... despite the many times I throw myself on my bed and scream into the pillow. Or bang my fists on the desk and ask myself, "what in the world am I doing?". I have even tried saying "serenity now" and wiggled my arms around my aura (like the episode of Sienfeld) but it just doesn't seem to work for this homeschooling mom. I (like so many others) have my moments of great discouragement in motherhood and in homeschooling.

This morning I watched my five year old make scramble eggs for the first time, his face wrinkled in doubt that the gooey mess could ever pass as scrambled eggs. He lifted the spoon to give it another stir and it all came together in a big clump of...well, scrambled eggs.

He started screaming, "It's turning into eggs! I did it! I made eggs!!!"

Then he gave me a huge hug and said, "Thank you mom for teaching me to make eggs. Now I can make two breakfast things." (The other one is cream of wheat).

There I had it... the reason I homeschool... because believe me it would be so quiet around here if they were at school!

I love to see the joy spread across their faces as they finally capture a difficult concept. The hugs. The happiness. The rainbow that comes after the storm. Yes. I can teach my children. Yes. We can do it!!

Stop Bullying Now!!

I am addressing bullying because it is an ever present issue in our society and warrants our attention. Bullying happens in many different areas of our lives, so home schooling is not a sure fire protection from it. Parents, teachers and all of us involved with children need to better educate ourselves on this matter.

A young girl recently showed me a picture of a student at her school. The picture had been snapped on a cell phone and then texted to her and many others at the school. Sadly, all who laughed at and shared that photo were unknowingly involved in cyberbullying. This "mass bullying" has led to severe depression and even suicide in many of our nations schools.

What is bullying?

"Bullying among children is aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of power".

Bullying takes on many forms such as: physical bullying, verbal bullying, nonverbal bullying or emotional bullying. Also, in our world of texting, cyberbullying which happens by phone or email, is an ever-growing form of bullying.

What are some signs of bullying?

There are many signs and often we just have to trust our instincts as parents in recognizing and dealing with our child either bullying or being bullied. Here is a list compiled from a few websites:

• be frightened of walking to and from school
• change their usual route
• not want you to go on the school bus
• have few or no friends
• begin to bully other children, siblings
• sad, moody, teary or depressed
• be unwilling to go to school (or be 'school phobic')
• feel ill in the morning
• continual headaches, stomachaches or other ailments
• begin doing poorly in their school work
• come home regularly with clothes or books destroyed
• come home starving
• become withdrawn, start stammering, lack confidence
• become distressed and anxious, stop eating
• attempt or threaten suicide
• cry themselves to sleep, have nightmares
• have their possessions go missing
• ask for money or start stealing
• refuse to talk about what's wrong
• have unexplained bruises, cuts, scratches
• become aggressive and unreasonable
• give improbable excuses for any of the above
• suffers from low self-esteem

Talking to your child

If you suspect bullying you need to talk to your child. Ask questions such as:

• Who do you play with? 
• Who do you sit with at lunch or on the bus? 
• Do you have a special friend? Is there anyone you don't really like? Why? 
• Do they ever tease you or pick on you?

What to do if your child is being bullied

Help your child avoid interaction of any sort with the bully. Interaction with a bully only leads to more insecurity and fear. The following steps are provided by kidshealth.org:

• Don't give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid the bully.
• Stand tall and be brave. Sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully.
• Feel good about you. Nobody's perfect, but what can you do to look and feel your best?
• Get a buddy (and be a buddy). Two is better than one if you're trying to avoid being bullied.
• Ignore the bully. Pretend you don't hear them and walk away quickly to a place of safety. Bullies want a big reaction to their teasing and meanness.
• Stand up for yourself. Pretend to feel really brave and confident. Tell the bully "No! Stop it!" in a loud voice. Then walk away, or run if you have to.
• Don't bully back. Don't hit, kick, or push back to deal with someone bullying you or your friends. It's best to stay with others, stay safe, and get help from an adult.
• Don't show your feelings. Try distracting yourself (counting backwards from 100, spelling the word 'turtle' backwards, etc.) to keep your mind occupied until you are out of the situation and somewhere safe where you can show your feelings.
• Tell an adult. If you are being bullied, it's very important to tell an adult. Find someone you trust and go and tell them what is happening to you.

* Information found on various websites including:
http://www.kidscape.org.uk
www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov
http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/bullies.html

Holiday Sugar cOOkies for Generations

This has been a family favorite for generations. We especially enjoy them at Halloween and Valentine's Day.


Sugar Cookies
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
2 Tbsp cream (heavy or sour)
1 tsp vanilla 
3 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

Cream the butter, sugar and egg. Add cream and vanilla. Beat in the remaining ingredients. Refrigerate for 1 hour. Roll out on a floured surface until about 1/4-1/2 inch (I like mine thick). cut into shapes. Bake at 400 F for 7-8 min. Frost when cooled completely.

The kids had a great time frosting them...and dumping frosting on them...YUM!

How to Can Peaches

You will need:

Fruit

Ladle or cup with a pouring spout

Quart Jars

Sugar

Water

A Water Bath Canner

           

Directions

1. Choose peaches that are ripe and sweet- as ripe as you would like to eat them fresh.

It takes about 5 peaches to fill one quart jar (so you will need about 15 pounds to make 6 quarts).

 

2. Prep the jars and lids

Place the jars in the dishwasher and run it on a hot rinse so they get hot and sanitized. If not you can just boil them for 10 minutes.

 

3. Wash and slice the peaches

Wash the peaches in cold water. Peel them. Slice them and remove the pits. You can either can them as halves or slices.

4. Bring the syrup to a light boil and remove from heat

I pack my peaches in a light syrup. Sugar helps improve flavor, stabilize color and retain  the shape of the fruit.

Syrup Recipe (yields 6 quarts)

2 cups sugar + 6 cups water = 7 cups of syrup

5. Fill the jars

Remove the hot jars from the dishwasher and fill them with the fresh sliced fruit. Pour hot syrup over the fruit and fill until there is only a 1/2 inch headspace (1/2 inch to the top of the jars rim). Remove any air bubbles with a wooden or plastic spoon (do not use metal). Wipe the rim of the jar, add the lid and screw on a band.

 6. Process the jars in a hot water bath

Put the jars in the canner and covered them with water. Boil for 20-35 minutes depending on altitude (we are at 6000 ft and I did them for 30 minutes).

7. Remove and cool

Remove jars from water and cool. Gently press the center of each lid to make sure it sealed before storing in a cool, dark dry place.